Love Lessons in Heartbreak

I love love. I love to give and receive love. For me love is the essence of who I am, and if I let you in and I allow myself to love you…I will love you, despite it all. One of the greatest lessons I have ever learned in my young life is a lesson of love and heartbreak.

I still remember the day, the day my heart shattered. I thought my world had come to an end, I thought I’d be another stereotypical successful, black woman with no husband and no kids…lonely. For days I cried, didn’t walk for my graduate degree and attempted rationalize “why?” I decided that I could either be bitter or be educated.

Being bitter would have taken me to exactly where I did not want to be; it would have caused me to take the burdens from my past “relationship” to the threshold of another. Moving quickly to the next man would have been an easy solution. I could have found comfort in temporary affection. But why lack trust in someone new and make a man pay for another’s mistakes? Being bitter would lead to a statistic, one I did not want to be.

I decided to be educated by heartache.

Love does not mean perfection, it does not mean that I will love you tomorrow; it means I will love you today, and do everything today to ensure that we have the possibility to be in love tomorrow.

Love is fearless. My favorite scripture is “[T]here is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” 1 John 4:18. God did not make us to fear, He made us to love, God is Love. Love and Fear cannot co-exist; therefore I choose love over fear. No fear in a man leaving me, no fear in outsiders in my relationships. No longer do I fear being a statistic. None.

Love does mean being more impressed with a man’s love for God, more than their love for you. A man who loves God more than me…can love me any day.

I am a Believer and therefore if heartbreak knocks again…I have no fear.

-Shanelle LaCole